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Fighting Idiocy with a Laser

Since I am scheduled to be a "Diva" for work tonight (not unlike all those other times I'm a diva at work when it's NOT scheduled, but this time it's for a special event) I decided to play laser tag last night instead. Not sure if that decision was for better or for worse, but it was certainly... interesting. We started late and I had a couple of easy rounds against a group made up mostly of high school girls that appeared to be on an athletic team together. However, by the third game the dynamic had thoroughly changed. There was a group of young guys - athletes, either high school seniors or first year of college I'd guess - who showed up. As we entered the vesting room I said to Kimmy, "this should be interesting." I knew that I would probably beat these guys easily and I kind of enjoyed doing so. Why? Because they were behaving like TOTAL asses. Now, I'm sure they came in expecting to win and couldn't have been too thrilled to see me taking the higher placement each round, but from the get go they were acting rowdy, cocky and obnoxious to everyone in that arena, but especially towards me. I was so glad my aim was on the mark this night because I was tagging them at every turn. I pretty much left the girls on the other team alone and just focused my energy on targeting these guys. While it was fun for me to stomp them on points each round I couldn't believe some of the crap they were pulling. One of them actually catapulted the wall over the blue base and landed on the lower bridge feet first. Another (I think...could've been the same one) was scaling walls and jumping off parts of the arena he should have never have climbed on in the first place. Not sure how it escaped notice. And please realize I'm noting it now only because it was idiotic, not impressive. At least one also had a habit of running his mouth and saying some really inappropriate things...and in this case these boys I'd never met were making very uncalled for insinuations about me, apparently stemming from my playing ability and how fast I tagged them out...astounding how teenage boys can take ANYTHING and make it the source of innuendo. But remembering that I was the "adult" in this situation I called him out and "corrected" that much because there is quite a difference between smack talk and being thoroughly out of line. These boys need to learn it. They also need to learn not to hate on someone who has more practiced skills. So often I see athletes come in anticipating that laser tag will be yet another game they are immediately good at, but frankly it's all the time spent practicing that really accounts for my scores. Heaven knows I'm way older and more out of shape than any of these young athletes, but my sniper shot is well honed from consistent playing time and I know how to hit my mark in this arena above anywhere else.

Towards the end of the night the man I perceived to be the girls' coach (or at least a father of one of them) came over to me and said he wanted for all of us to beat those guys. I nodded my agreement and teamed up with the girls. Since I had been playing for points on lesser teams all night (some evenings I just gravitate to the team with the least players for balance) I was beating the guys on solo score, but technically their team score (with more players) was higher. So this time we set out to earn a total team win. The girls took more bases, I didn't need to watch my back with any other team color (except with the game master, Kevin, who jumped in and went rogue playing green by himself) and by the end we had earned a solid team win...and I walked out of there with another first place notch (which continued to be an additional thorn to those guys). I had used the Legend pack (which had a battery I could tell was dying) and at the end they had switched from their earlier unacceptable language to saying things like "she is a legend". Smile...recognize, boys. Then during the last game something changed. Their demeanor turned more hostile and they were chasing me down and surrounding me in groups. Not in a sporting way...more like to hold me captive in the game. I could sometimes fend off at least one, but I needed backup too. Kevin played backup (and I'm assuming he was not calling them out on it because it was the final game of the night and probably less hassle to just get through it and go home). I was still taking points, but the stunt did knock my score down. When we exited the arena I realized I had come in second to Kevin...but they didn't. He and I were the two top scores. However, when those guys saw it they just assumed that my score continued to be the highest and it seemed to infuriate them, so I just shrugged and didn't correct the assumption...Kevin, if you kept quiet, I owe you one! :) There seemed no real harm in letting them continue to think that, especially on the heels of the way they played that final game and the fact that I had legitimately triumphed over that idiocy all night. And so they left that arena having faced the wrath and suffering the defeat at the phaser of Tivia...and we all went our separate ways, which was invariably for the best.

The end.

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